Must Read Autobiographies - XXX

When Breath Becomes Air

Paul Kalanithi

"I had earned the respect of my seniors, won prestigious national awards, and was fielding job offers from several major universities... I had reached the mountaintop; I could see the Promised Land."
                                         ........ Paul Kalanithi

Paul Sudhir Arul Kalanithi (1977 - 2015) was an American neurosurgeon of Indian origin. This book is his memoir on his life of saving lives as a professional doctor and of his battling with advanced lung cancer which was published in 2016 after his death.

At the age of 36, when Paul had only 15 months to go before becoming a professor of neurosurgery, he was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. he examines his own CT scan with his wife Lucy, also a doctor and sees his future.

In the first half of the book, Paul deals narrates his journey to becoming a doctor and saving life. In the fourth year of his medical school when, sitting in a meeting between a brain surgeon and the parents of a child with a large brain tumor, probably malignant, he decided to pursue neurology. He describes his professional challenges as a neurosurgeon elaborately. The despair he experienced as a doctor in making difficult decisions about his patients and the guilt that he felt on a wrong decision touches the heart. 

"Learning to judge whose lives could be saved, whose lives couldn’t be, and whose shouldn’t be requires an unattainable prognostic ability."

"I made mistakes… The cost of my dedication to succeed was high, and the ineluctable failures brought me nearly unbearable guilt."

The second half of the book narrates his illness and life thereafter.

 "As a doctor, I knew not to declare “Cancer is a battle I’m going to win!” or ask, “Why me?” (Answer: why NOT me?)."

"How often had I heard a patient’s family member make similar declarations? I never knew what to say to them then, and I didn’t know what to say to my father now."

His marriage was on the rocks. But his getting diagnosed with cancer closed the rank, brought the family together and saved his marriage. They decide to have a baby. He goes back to work for a while when fresh symptoms develop. H undergoes more rounds of chemotherapy.

The neurosurgery department is satisfied that Paul has met all qualifying requirements for graduation and decide to hold his graduation celebration about fifteen days before their baby is due. On the day of the graduation ceremony when, Paul is getting dressed for it, he is struck with intense nausea and he starts vomiting. He misses his graduation ceremony. 

Their daughter, cady, is born. That gives him lots of joy, happiness and satisfaction.

"I'm ready" says he and bids goodbye before slipping off to unconsciousness. He could not complete his book. No matter, it is a life changing , must read narration.

Namaste

Prabir

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