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The Law
Habit - IX
The tricky point in changing a habit is identifying the correct trigger or cue which sets off the routine and the reward which we crave and which had internalised the habit that we want to change. The process of identification is one of trial and error. It requires perseverance. the time required for identification is the investment required to change a habit.
Let me take my personal example of smoking. What do I look for when I smoke? The alternatives could be many. Do I believe that my brain starts working more efficiently when or after I smoke? Do I smoke for the nicotine kick? Do I look smart and macho when I smoke? Do I get stress relief after I smoke? Anyone or more of them could be true. Which one is true for me? I need to identify that by a series of planned experiments.
I start with nicotine based chewing gums. If I smoke because of nicotine craving, the chewing gum should take care of my craving. In my case it does not. I still like to smoke after chewing the gum.
Do I smoke because it refreshes my brain? I deliberately take up some intense brainwork in areas, such as meeting rooms, where smoking is not permitted. Am I not able to find solutions? It does not apply to me. I apply my brain equally well in no smoking zones.
Do I smoke to look smart and macho? I try out some new dresses which makes me look casual. I work at changing my posture, the way I hold my body while sitting, standing or walking. No change happens. I still have the urge to smoke.
Do I smoke to relieve my stress? I try out other stress relieving methods. I move out to a colleague's desk when I get the urge to smoke and chat with him for a few minutes. I go to a whiteboard and scribble my thoughts. I call up a friend. Generally speaking, I take my mind away for a short while from the environment which is causing stress build up. And this works. So the reward that I am looking for is relieving my stress.
Each one of us, trying a habit change, will need to go through a planned exercise for identifying the reward.
It so happens that there may still be a relapse into the old habit after I have identified the cue and the reward and have started working on the new routine. This happens almost inevitably. It is always better to plan for a relapse management and take out the stress like cursing self, guilty feeling, feeling inadequate, from the process.
In my case I manage the relapse by smoking one cigarette, not fully. I change the timing of the smoking that part-of-one cigarette everytime. Sticking to the same timing creates another habit.
I start with nicotine based chewing gums. If I smoke because of nicotine craving, the chewing gum should take care of my craving. In my case it does not. I still like to smoke after chewing the gum.
Do I smoke because it refreshes my brain? I deliberately take up some intense brainwork in areas, such as meeting rooms, where smoking is not permitted. Am I not able to find solutions? It does not apply to me. I apply my brain equally well in no smoking zones.
Do I smoke to relieve my stress? I try out other stress relieving methods. I move out to a colleague's desk when I get the urge to smoke and chat with him for a few minutes. I go to a whiteboard and scribble my thoughts. I call up a friend. Generally speaking, I take my mind away for a short while from the environment which is causing stress build up. And this works. So the reward that I am looking for is relieving my stress.
Each one of us, trying a habit change, will need to go through a planned exercise for identifying the reward.
It so happens that there may still be a relapse into the old habit after I have identified the cue and the reward and have started working on the new routine. This happens almost inevitably. It is always better to plan for a relapse management and take out the stress like cursing self, guilty feeling, feeling inadequate, from the process.
In my case I manage the relapse by smoking one cigarette, not fully. I change the timing of the smoking that part-of-one cigarette everytime. Sticking to the same timing creates another habit.
Hasta Manana
Prabir
Prabir
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