- 76 -
The Law
Revisiting - XX
I have named the third group of people on the top left hand quadrant as the "Bla-Bla" team. They are big on talk and less on action. They will try to dominate all conversations. They will diver the subject of discussion to some other domain. they are the "know-all" type. They will try to thrust their opinion on you as the only correct way in the universe. They seldom respect your space and boundaries. They will project themselves as larger than life. Not only that, they will broadcast your actions to the entire world with quite a few derogatory remarks. Watch out for such people. Keep them at arms length. Minimise your interactions with them. Do not hesitate to put them in their place, politely and firmly. Do not accept their misbehaviors for they are prone to do so. They are prone to rave and rant. Such members of your tribe are the most likely to pull you down to their level of existence.
The last quadrant on the left hand bottom are the people who are low on communication as well as low on support. Although the are members of your tribe, they are not connected to you and you are not connected to them. They do not exist for you nor do they exist for you. There is a complete lack of proactiveness on both sides. One of my mentors had advised me to look into this group closely. Some gems may be dormant in this group who could be of great help to you and provide you support. Some of them could as well belong to the first two quadrants on reconnecting and nurturing the relationship.
Examine each of your tribe members minutely and place them in one of the four quadrants. This will give you a very good assessment on the constitution and quality of your tribe and what you need to do.
You will notice that there are some relationships within your tribe, which are painful and even hostile. Given the option, you would have liked to terminate all such relationships. However that option may not be available with you as not relationships, which are hostile and painful, can be terminated because they may be your close relations. As such, you should terminate a relationship as the last resort, that too after doing a thorough due diligence. terminating any relationship causes an emotional pay out. In any case do not terminate multiple relationships at one go. The drain in energy is too high.
As mentioned earlier, execute the do diligence process exhaustively. Ask yourself a few questions. Are you grateful to that person for some help rendered by him at some point of time? Can the memory of that gratitude is strong enough for you to try and make a balanced re-connection? Were you in some way responsible for hurting, insulting, slighting that person by your words, actions or indifference? Should you not seek forgiveness from that person and reconnect? Was there an misunderstanding caused by mis-interpretation of an event by either side? Does it call for a clear and transparent communication, with no intention of assigning blame - a crucial conversation - to be held with dignity and open mindset? We will discuss crucial conversation shortly. When all precautions have been taken and the need is still felt to terminate some relationships, do it. But do not terminate all toxic relationships at the same time. terminate the worst one or two and manage the others by keeping them at distance.
As you grow, you will be gradually outgrowing your tribe members, except your core team. Remember, I had said that you should select the core team members in such a way that they should be far advanced in their pursuit of abundance and are continuously learning to grow further. as you outgrow your tribe members, you need to amplify your tribe in a way that your tribe members are at a level equal to you or higher than you. You will need to strengthen your tribe by adding new members. The selection of new relationships also requires a thorough due diligence. The new relationships should be capable to mentor you in at least one area. They should be at a much higher level of advancement and should be capable enough to become your role model in that area. Also you need to identify what you can contribute to the new relationship. Make all relationships balance. It should be a win-win relationship.
We shall continue.
Let me give you some extra work. I am attaching a video on Mastering The Art Of Crucial Conversation. It runs for about 30 minutes. Watch and listen carefully.
Namaste
See you again
Prabir
Examine each of your tribe members minutely and place them in one of the four quadrants. This will give you a very good assessment on the constitution and quality of your tribe and what you need to do.
You will notice that there are some relationships within your tribe, which are painful and even hostile. Given the option, you would have liked to terminate all such relationships. However that option may not be available with you as not relationships, which are hostile and painful, can be terminated because they may be your close relations. As such, you should terminate a relationship as the last resort, that too after doing a thorough due diligence. terminating any relationship causes an emotional pay out. In any case do not terminate multiple relationships at one go. The drain in energy is too high.
As mentioned earlier, execute the do diligence process exhaustively. Ask yourself a few questions. Are you grateful to that person for some help rendered by him at some point of time? Can the memory of that gratitude is strong enough for you to try and make a balanced re-connection? Were you in some way responsible for hurting, insulting, slighting that person by your words, actions or indifference? Should you not seek forgiveness from that person and reconnect? Was there an misunderstanding caused by mis-interpretation of an event by either side? Does it call for a clear and transparent communication, with no intention of assigning blame - a crucial conversation - to be held with dignity and open mindset? We will discuss crucial conversation shortly. When all precautions have been taken and the need is still felt to terminate some relationships, do it. But do not terminate all toxic relationships at the same time. terminate the worst one or two and manage the others by keeping them at distance.
As you grow, you will be gradually outgrowing your tribe members, except your core team. Remember, I had said that you should select the core team members in such a way that they should be far advanced in their pursuit of abundance and are continuously learning to grow further. as you outgrow your tribe members, you need to amplify your tribe in a way that your tribe members are at a level equal to you or higher than you. You will need to strengthen your tribe by adding new members. The selection of new relationships also requires a thorough due diligence. The new relationships should be capable to mentor you in at least one area. They should be at a much higher level of advancement and should be capable enough to become your role model in that area. Also you need to identify what you can contribute to the new relationship. Make all relationships balance. It should be a win-win relationship.
We shall continue.
Let me give you some extra work. I am attaching a video on Mastering The Art Of Crucial Conversation. It runs for about 30 minutes. Watch and listen carefully.
Namaste
See you again
Prabir
No comments:
Post a Comment