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The Law

Mindset - III

I have an important suggestion to make to the parents of kids in their formative years. Encourage the kid when he or she tries to do something beyond his comfort zone. The kid may not do well in their initial attempts, which may be quite a few. Refrain from judging the kid on the outcome of such attempts. The kid is trying to learn something beyond what he knows. Encourage the kid so that he enters a learning mindset. Judging the kid and putting a "dumb" label on him based on the outcome of his efforts will only erode his self image. The learning mindset can be inculcated by praising the kid for his effort and for trying some more.

Another suggestion to parents is on the way they view and give feedback on the child's score in examinations and test. These scores indicate where the child is now. Full stop. Please do not extrapolate these scores to the future of the child - either way. If he does well, it does not necessarily mean that he will do well in future. Similarly if he does bad, it also does not mean that his future is bleak.

The feedback that the parents give to their child has also to be modulated accordingly. If he does well, do not declare to him that a genius has arrived. Praise his effort. If he does badly, encourage him to put in more effort instead of branding him a dumb. The child's future will depend on how the child is encouraged to explore, to persevere, to exert besides the learning tools and conditions provided to him or her.

One way, to find out the quality of mindset forming in the child, is to see the child's reactions in difficult situations such as a bad score, fights with friends etc. Does he sulk? Does he complain? Does he blame? If these reactions are visible, it is more or less certain that a closed mindset is developing in the child.

We will have heard of and also seen many childhood geniuses and prodigies. Majority of them get lost in the crowd as they progress in life. Few of these childhood geniuses live up to their potential and reach the peak of glory in their chosen fields. The difference between the two categories is caused by difference in mindset.

The talented persons with the closed mindset do two mistakes. Firstly, they presume that their talent alone will make them superior to others. They look upon effort and perseverance with disdain and for mortals only. Secondly they permit a failure to bring down their self image causing depression, frustration and inaction. The inaction is the trouble area. Depression and frustration, as a temporary phenomena, is normal. Inaction arises out of reluctance to put in extra effort and from the belief that the outcome is beyond one's control. Reluctance to put in effort comes from the commonly erroneous mindset that talented persons do not need to exert to get success. And if one needs to exert, then he or she is not talented. Hence parents, when you praise your child, do not praise the child for talent, for being a genius but praise, all you can, for the child's effort in getting a good outcome. 

In contrast, the talented persons with an open mindset continually polish themselves, learn and improve.



Khuda hafiz




Prabir